Wednesday, June 14, 2017

11 Weeks along

How far along? 11 weeks today
How big is the snowman?  size of a fig (although I can't actually picture how big a fig is, I know its bigger than an olive or grape bc that was last week....)
Total weight gain/loss? last I checked I was still down about 5 lbs overall from when we transferred
Maternity clothes? not even close
Sleep? ALL the sleep.  I can seriously sleep 10 hours at a stretch and still think a nap doesn't sound bad
Best moment this week?  eh, this week has been pretty average HOWEVER I have been able to do 2 weights workouts which felt great.
Symptoms? nausea, tiredness, and the bloat.  I'm not really able to eat before noon without feeling vomity and eating anything remotely healthy is really a no go, baby likes refined carbs and only refined carbs. Also (TMI warning) going to the bathroom is just not happening, so that's contributing to the bloat as well.
Food cravings? food overall doesn't sound appealing, at all.  BUT if I am going to eat its going to be a carb.
Food aversions? all food. 
Gender? team blue!
Labor signs? dear lord I hope not
Belly button in or out? in
What I miss? massages, I tried to get a foot massage (I read that as long as they avoid the acupressure points on the ankle and don't press too hard its ok), when I told them about Snowman they basically rubbed lotion on my legs for 30 minutes and it was very not what I was looking forward to.
What I'm looking forward to?
Milestones? Snowman starts producing testosterone this week
Bump? the bump is all bloat right now

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Trying to workout.....

So I finally got the go ahead to start working out again.  I've basically been sidelined since starting IVF due to potential complications etc.  So its been a solid 6 months of no major activity, coupled with the exhaustion of the first trimester and finally adding in that this kid DOES NOT like anything but pizza (and no food before noon) and reacts to fruits/veggies like I'm trying to commit filicide my nutrition has been less than on point and we have the perfect situation for awesome workouts......or the exact opposite of that. 

Last week Spence and I met with a new trainer at Lifetime (our old trainer doesn't work there anymore, but we had sessions built up we wanted to use before we start working out with our old trainer at his new place) and went over goals, got to know each other etc.  I told the trainer my main goal is to get strong so labor isn't as bad as it might be otherwise, and to tone my upper body so that my arms look good in photos, because vanity.  I outlined that I had no illusions of losing weight or getting smaller until this whole "growing a person" thing is done, but I'd like to get stronger and try to tone up as much as I can.  It's good to have goals right? 

First workout I decided that I really needed to try and be healthy so I had a green smoothie with protein powder.  Please see above paragraph about how this baby feels about fruits/veg.  So I got through 1 set of exercises (chest presses and flys) and we moved over to squats and lunges.....where I got through 1 set of squats and 2 lunges --2 individual lunges not 2 sets just to be clear-- and then I almost died.  No, not literally, but I wanted to.  The nausea got way worse and I got super light headed, it took almost everything in me to not just lay down on the (gross) floor of the gym and take a nap.  I went home and immediately went back to bed and didn't move much for the rest of the day. 

Fast forward to today, Travis (new trainer) revamped the middle of the workout (the part where I almost died) to include more "sitting exercises" as I like to call them and emailed me a copy of it so I could do it on my own.  Spence had his first session with Travis today so I went up there as well to see how much I could get done before dying.  TURNS OUT that eating a slice of pizza instead of a super healthy smoothie with protein before a weights workout is an excellent idea if you're me and 10 weeks pregnant.  I got through the whole workout, sans puking or wanting to die, and did some cardio afterwards while I was waiting for Spence to be done (my workout is way shorter than his due to the exhaustion, inactivity for 6 mos etc.). 

Thursday, May 25, 2017

8 Week Ultrasound

Well, as of today I'm officially released from my RE and back to my normal OB. 

After almost 3 years of trying to have a baby I'm officially pregnant, or as I keep saying to Spence "I'm legit pregnant".  It's surreal. 

We saw Snowman again yesterday, measuring right on target and the Dr. and nurse said it all looks 100% healthy and normal.  Heartbeat was right on target at 158bpm, and from what you can see this early on everything looks great! 

We've started to tell a few people, which makes it all feel even more real.  It also makes it feel super scary because if something goes wrong and I miscarry suddenly there are a lot more people that we'd need to tell (a lot is a subjective number, a lot compared to just Spence and I). 

I got so nervous before our scan, I was a fraction less tired a few days before the ultrasound, still utterly exhausted mind you, but I was able to stay up past 9pm and suddenly my head started going a thousand directions, none of them ended in happy thoughts in case you were wondering.  I'm so glad we have had our 2 scans and gotten to confirm our little ones heartbeat etc. but I think the scans are also a little stressful for me! Suddenly, I end up freaking out that even though NOTHING has happened that would lead me to believe that something had gone wrong what if it was a missed miscarriage?  I need to work on my deep breathing and trying to stay not stressed lol. 

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

6 week ultrasound

After the last beta test I set up 2 ultrasounds, one for 6 weeks and the other for 8 weeks.  The 6 week ultrasound was on 5/10, and we decided to have our parents over on the 12th to tell them that they were going to be grandparents! We went in on the 10th for the ultrasound, the nurse warned me that our Dr was probably going to talk a lot and not say much, which turned out to be true.  We got to see the gestational sac, the yolk sack and what looked like the heart beat!  Seeing that flutter made my heart so happy!  They said that when we go back next Wednesday we won't even recognize snowman bc he/she will have grown so much.  Snowman looked like a tadpole for the most part and they said next week Snowman will resemble more of a gummy bear. 

We planned to have everyone over on Friday the 12th to tell our parents the good news, it went really well!  We cleaned the whole house and the screened in porch was finally painted and finished as well.  I say "we" cleaned the whole house, lets be honest here Spence cleaned the whole house and I tried super hard to stay awake past 730pm every night.  This tiredness is NO JOKE.  Even at the height of my adrenal fatigue a few years back I haven't experienced this level of exhaustion.  I've also noticed the last 2 or 3 days that my temper is getting really short.  I'm training a group of new hires and I can't help but feel bad for them because I am not the even keeled happy person I usually am in a training class.  My boobs aren't nearly as sore as they were at first which is awesome.  I've felt nauseated on and off, usually when I haven't had enough water that day, so at least its easy to counteract and I have yet to actually feel like I might throw up.  Overall I'm calling it a win.  

Not much else to update as of now, I'm 7 weeks today.  Next Wednesday is our 8 week ultrasound and if all goes well I'll be released from the RE and back to my OB.  I can't believe that in a week I might be considered a "normal" pregnancy!

And then there was blood....

So after our 2nd beta test when I found out that my HCG more than doubled I started to let myself get excited.  I was telling Spencer how excited I was allowing myself to get, talking about names, talking about how we plan to tell our parents in a few weeks and all those fun things that you start to think about when you find out that you're growing a person. 

5 minutes later I got up to go to the bathroom and saw some bright pink blood. Barely any, but still blood. 

Blood is not something you want to see when you are newly pregnant (OMG I'm pregnant).  Per the google machine there are a variety of reasons that you can spot that are not bad news, but you know what every single one of those websites also says? miscarriage. 

It's Friday night, my doctor is gone, the emergency line would be excessive right now and frankly, if it is bad news I know there is literally nothing that anyone can do.  It's too early for an ultrasound, its too early for any kind of intervention.  I wasn't having any major cramps, and it was a TINY amount of blood, so the rational side of my brain is telling me that its probably 100% fine, however, as I've previously mentioned, the rational side of my brain is SO NOT the side in control right now.

It stopped immediately, and hasn't started up again.  I'm not too worried right this second, but my heart stopped when I saw that blood. 

Final Beta test.....

And the results are in.....WE DOUBLED AGAIN!  884, 552 would have been doubling so this is a great number!  I just can't quite process that this might actually be happening....

Monday, May 1, 2017

2nd Beta Test

It's been a tense 2 days at the house waiting for it to be the day of the 2nd beta test.....drumroll please....we more than doubled!  I had 3 FRER tests at home, I used 1 before the 1st beta, 1 the day of the first beta, skipped a day, and used the last one today before the 2nd beta.
The lines keep getting darker which is a good thing for me to see as it (kinda sorta not really) keeps the crazy at bay!

I know it's weird to take pictures of things that you've peed on, and before this whole process I did not think I'd ever be one of those people who took pictures of/kept things that I'd peed on....but let's be honest infertility does some weird things to your head and frankly I'm so excited to keep seeing 2 lines on there for the first time in 33 years that I don't even care that its gross (because it is, I know this). 
I am having some pretty intense cramping off and on, it started on Tuesday right after the first beta and then happened again today.  I'm hoping that its totally normal and nothing to worry about.  I keep hearing people talk about their uterus stretching and twinges etc....I hope that's all this is!