Mirror

I heard this song on the radio today and it really hit me.  I have spent a LARGE part of my life pretty convinced that the reflection in the mirror defined who I was.  I can get all self analyzing and pop psychologist and say that I think its because growing up I felt like I wasn't good enough for my dad to love me, and since I had friends--"popular" if you will--, got good grades in school, involved in extra curricular activities and had pretty much everything else on the "good kid" checklist taken care of the only thing my (self conscious) kiddo brain could come up with was that if I was ________ (insert any number of words there, prettier, skinnier, stronger etc) that maybe I'd be good enough for my dad to want to spend time with.
   
Well now that I'm a grown up (I guess being closer to 30 than 25, married with a house and dog means I pretty much have to admit that one now, aw man) I know objectively that my childhood relationship with my dad had nothing to do with me, or my looks or anything else that I had control over and more to do with where he was as a person while I was growing up.  I still have the nagging insecurities though, that when I look in the mirror and don't see the "best" version of myself I allow those negative feelings to creep back in. 

So this song is one that I'm going to put in the iTunes account and pull it out when I need a reminder.  A reminder that I'm not just what looks back in the mirror, I'm more than the sum of my parts.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made and the One who made me, loves me just like I am, inside and out.

"Mirror" (Barlow Girls)

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me

Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try

Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes
of He who made me
And to Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me (Yeah)

Who are you tell me
that I'm less than what I should be
Who are you?
Who are you? (Yeah)
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, no, I won't try

You don't define me (You don't define me) [x4]

Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be
Who are you?
Who are you?
Yeah!
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, no, I won't try
Yeah

Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be
Who are you?
Who are you?
Yeah
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, no, I won't try

Frustrated!

I have all these fun photos to show you of how clean we got our garage this weekend and Blogger keeps "server rejecting" them all!

We got half the garage cleaned out, and on Sunday night my car got to sleep in the garage!  The other half *should* be accomplished this week or weekend, its my dad's "stuff" (everything from carpet samples, curtain rods, wood pallets etc) and then taking the legs off our pool table and storing it against a wall in the storage room until we have the room to use it. After that super small job is done, then Spence's car can have a home too!

This week feels pretty packed, I worked at Nike last night and work tonight, hopefully get some friend time Wednesday and then Thursday I took off from work to get some things done at the house and garage sale prep.  Friday and Saturday is the garage sale/goodwill donation days and then Saturday night is one of Spence's good friends bday parties.  I already need a nap.....

5 Things Friday

1) this week has been CRAZY busy!  Between full time job, part time job and seeing friends my house needs my attention badly.

2) I get to have dinner with my AXO pledge class tonight!  And to top it off we are getting dinner at my favorite sushi place in Lawerence, total win win.

3) Tomorrow is "clean the crap outta the garage day" at our house.  I know it sounds exciting right?

4) Some of our really good friends bought a house this week and I could NOT be more excited for them!

5) Getting to skype with my uncle/aunt and baby cousin made my Sunday last week, my little baby cousin is probably the cutest child alive.  Probably.

Mary Mary Quite Contrary....

How does your garden grow?

With blooming iris and lillies of course!  I was so excited when I walked outside this morning and saw that they had started to bloom!  I just had to show 'em off to you.....

except apparently I can't because my pictures keep saying "server rejected"   sad face.

I'll try again later.....

Weekend Recap

Friday:  Worked and then met some of the girls out to see Something Borrowed.  The theatre by us has an area with a bar and "real" food so we lounged there before going into our theatre.  It was the first "girls night" out for one of my friends who just had her first little girl, it was good to get her out of the house for a few hours and let her hubby watch their daughter! 

Our drink of choice, come on, it GLOWED!

My friend Ash made these gorgeous things! You can check out her blog at http://sweetwhimsiesblog.blogspot.com/  shes fantastic!  I've told her before I'd totally invest in her future bakery!

Saturday was the house work day.  I wanted the front of our house to have some "pop" of color and so I knew I needed to get some flowers.  And I also recently decided that our mailbox just looked sad and needed a face lift.  In addition I needed to paint some shelves we will use in the garage before they would be usable (lots o rust).  Saturday night we met up with some friends to hang out and catch up at Fox and Hound!

All the goodies before they were bought!

I aslso decided we need some additionl light so I bought two of these guys to see how much light they put out etc.

All done! I cannot wait for the lilies to bloom

This is the mailbox part way done, I was so excited to start it that I totally spaced on taking the true "before" picture!

I also saw a tank.....just rolling down the street.  I live by the National Guard Armory so its not totally outside the box, but still.  I saw a tank!  I saw this on my way BACK to Lowes to return a can of spray paint that just dribbled down the front. Kind of glad the spray paint can was cruddy, cause I think tanks are kinda cool....

The "almost" finished product.  I have decided its probably not the greatest idea to show y'all my address, so this is as finished as it gets!

The shelves pre-paint.  They are currently a very glossy black color I forgot to take a picture of!

Spence cheating at ski ball for me!

Yay look how good I did!

Sunday was Mothers Day, no pictures from this day (I know, sad).  But we got up, went to church, went on a run and then settled in at my parents house for more than a few hours to hang out with my parents and my grandparents who were in town from AZ on their way to IA for my Papa's 65th high school reunion!
We also got to skype with my aunt and uncle in WI, and their ADORABLE baby girl, (my one and only cousin) Eleanor.  OMG she is the cutest.

Monday was work and THEN since the temps topped 90 I realized my dream of waiting till June to turn on the AC would not in fact work.  So my dad came over to show me how to clean it out and get it ready to go.  George came out to supervise the work.  I don't think he was overly impressed.

Seriously? why are you not inside petting me?

5 Things Friday

1) I am super excited for our weekend plans (outlined for you yesterday)
2) I need to purchase brightly colored flowers for the front of our home tomorrow and plant them asap.
3) I miss Europe and CANNOT wait to book our trip for next year.  The 2012 brochures will be out in a few months and I can begin to actually drool on them as we book our trip.

War Protest in Trafalgar Square, London.

Oslo, Norway.  We are goofs.

Harlaxton Manor, England

Self Explanatory, I hope.

Morocco

Musee De Orsay, Paris France

Prague

Paris

4) My friends are awesome.  Here are some pictures of my awesome friends.

Some of my AXO sisters our senior year, aw!

High school friends reunited, the girl sitting just above me was an exchange student our senior year and was back in the States for a visit!

High school besties having fun

Megs and I in England

Best Picture Ever.  fake "snowball fight" in Oslo Norway.

This was a small part of the BEST TRIP EVER, (Norway is totally awesome in early March, who knew?)

5)Weekends should be 5 days and work weeks should be 2 days. Seriously.

MIA

Sorry I've been MIA, life is CrrraaaazzzzYYYyyyy lately. 
Friday I've got a movie girls nights with 2 of my high school friends, we're going to see "Something Borrowed" and I'm super excited about it.
Saturday we are getting some drinks/social time with another group of friends at one of my FAVORITE places in KC, Fox and Hound, (yes I know they are not a "local" place, but they have strongbow on tap and I *love* strongbow on tap, so they have my heart)
Sunday is Mothers Day BONUS that my grandparents from AZ will be in town this weekend, I'm SO excited to see them!

So watch for a weekend re-cap full of pics next week!