Am I the only one who does this on REALLY important things? Give me a dinner party, or just a party, to plan and I have 3 complete menu options, decor ideas music selections and a cleaning schedule that will make your head spin. Weeks in advance. Give me a test that will determine if keep my several thousand dollar raise at work and 6 months to study for it and, eh, I'll get to it I'm sure. Suddenly its 2.5 weeks to go and I'm freaking out because I realize that this is important, like really important. Crap.
I've done the same thing with the half marathon training. Granted, I've also been in some pretty significant pain during the process that hasn't helped, but still. I am NOWHERE near the miles I should be, and I'm worried I wont be able to complete the half. Now, this kind of reality check should be motivating to me. Instead its another of my, eh, I'll get to it when I get to it items.
What the heck is wrong with me? I have been a lot of things in my life, not all of them very complimentary to be sure, but until lately I've never really considered myself lazy. Sure I'd rather ask Spence to get me water if he's already up (or looks like he could be getting up sometime soon) but that's just good planning right? I need to seriously get my head in the game here and start to take care of business!
Maybe there is some sub-conscious fear of failing at the important things in life? That it will confirm my deepest fears that I'm not really good enough? That if I really try at something that it won't come together the way I want it to and I don't want to deal with that? Maybe, but since I'm not licensed in psychobabble we'll probably never know.
What I do know is that tonight instead of lounging in front of the TV, I will be reviewing a water loss power point and going over coverage scenarios on my laptop. Tomorrow I will be at the gym, doing something productive instead of laying in bed and thinking about it. It may not be the 7 miles I should be jogging but I'll keep going till I can't. There. Motivated.
